“the shortest distance between two people is a smile”

Is there a toxic relationship in your life?
You avoid this person in the hall.
You pretend you are otherwise engaged when s/he is in sight.
When you have to communicate you use email or leave voice mail messages.
Every exchange carries the weight of every past negative conversation you have ever had.
Your tone is harsh to defend against the hostility (or sarcasm, or judgment) you expect.
Even when s/he is saying something benign you hear the echoes of negative intent.

Sound familiar? You are in a conversation with people you like. The conversation is productive and easy. You laugh heartily. All of a sudden you realize “he” has joined the group. Your whole being tightens up and you bump right up against two totally different people: the person you are when you are at ease and the one you become in this person’s presence.

What is it costing you to stay so protected and boxed up?
What is it like to be suited up for battle all the time?
Is it accomplishing anything?
Is it changing the nature of the relationship for the better?
Are you calmer, more relaxed, safer?
Do you like yourself better?

Are there simple solutions to this dilemma? Not always.
Is it all up to you? Probably not.

There is at least one powerful tool that I keep rediscovering.
The internal impact is profound.
It dramatically shifts who we can be in relationship.
Are you ready?

Smile

Try it now.

Relax the muscles around your mouth.
Think about the one person or place or thing in the world that you love unconditionally.
Let your mouth and eyes relax into the smile that naturally follows.

Repeat often through out the day.
Practice makes Perfect.

And then when “s/he” passes by... you’ll be ready.