FEAR.LESS

Dear Friends,

If you are not yet familiar with fearlessstories.com and the work of Ishita Gupta et al  then this is a great time to learn. I have been following the creation and growth of this online magazine since its inception. Their content is powerful, and I never fail to learn something that has lasting value for my life.

 

Today I am proud to be featured on their site. The piece is based on an interview I did with Ishita Gupta last year. I talk very personally about fear, survival strategies that have lost their power for me and how the lessons I have learned as a coach sustain me through the tough times..  

 

 

I hope you find it valuable. Please take a moment to leave a comment or reaction or even share your own story. And thank you too for sharing it widely in your own networks.

 

And don’t forget to peruse the archives. You will like what you find.

 

 

 

Hello Anger My Old Friend.

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I have been studying anger. My anger. Mine.

 

In the world of what it means to be Pearl, it has been highly inappropriate to be angry. My Border Patrol were so effective that the mechanism for catching and refusing entry to anger was practically automatic. This means, anger took a detour and turned into ‘something else’ before I could even recognize that I was angry.

 

By something else I mean- resentment, impatience, sadness, frustration, powerlessness… I reacted to anger without even knowing that was what I was doing. People felt the brunt of my anger

 

So my new practice is to open up the borders. No checkpoints. Anger gets to show up right my front door. And I open it and say, “Hi. What brings you here? How long are you staying? What do you need?”

 

The best part of this practice has been about ownership. Owning my anger. Owning the need that propels that anger. It is my anger. (This has been good news for the people in my life too-- believe me!)

 

And I am not my anger.

As I welcome her into my space, I see that she has a message for me. There is information in my anger. And she is not trying to take over. She will give me the time and space to read the message. I get to decide how to respond. She just wants to be acknowledged. Who knew—anger can be patient.

 

And she still shows up.

Oh yes, she does. And sometimes, my border police get antsy and head her off at the pass like in the old days. I clearly need to give them a new job. 

s.l.o.w.i.n.g d.o.w.n

I have had some wonderful days recently. 
Days filled with meaningful activity….

 

I have been privileged to talk with people I care about.

I have been included in conversations with people who care.

I have read some novels that kept me turning pages late into the night.

I have planned experiences for people to become more aware of what is happening to them in their workplace.

I am constructing opportunities for transformative change.

 

I have laughed with my family.

I have exercised my heart out.

I have walked outside in the brisk cold air.

I have kicked up the leaves with my shoes.

 

And I just realized something.

 

I have been moving too fast.

I am too busy.

It is now time for me to s.l.o.w d.o.w.n.

 

It is now time for me to breathe.

It is now time for me to return.

It is now time for me to connect with myself.

It is now time for presence.

 

waratte imasu ka? (Are you laughing?)

 

We missed the Warai festival in Japan on October 10th. 

Legend has it that the deity of this shrine, Niutsuhime no Mikoto, overslept and was late for the conference of 8 million deities held in Izumo in Kanna-zuki (October). As she was deeply depressed, the villagers encouraged her by laughing.

 

It's never to late to laugh...

Will you join me?

 

The River of Your Life

Don't just peek at it...jump in and start navigating.

Lingering in the Longing

I think I have been making a study of longing. 
Not intentionally- not at first. 

For years I have been living in the longing for a life I intend to have in Israel. I experience it as a deep gash in my chest. A place opened up, raw ...impossible to stitch neatly back. The longing periodically goes into hiding when I have the chance to spend time in Israel. I come alive then in a new way. Like when my screen brightens as I plug the power source back in. And then the longing returns. It comes in waves. I actually feel a little off balance when it recedes even a bit. I depend on it. It defines me.

 

When my sister died last year, a new longing came to sit beside a more familiar one. I knew the longing for a BFF relationship with my sister. I wanted easy and 'oh by the way...' and 'oops- gotta go TTYL'. And then she was truly gone. And then longing became a roiling in my gut and a tingling in my brain. A hug remembered. Hopes dashed. Missed opportunities. I fed the longing by writing letters that would never be read. Dreams. Oh the dreams. 

 

And now I set my intention on indulging in more time outside in nature. And more time engaged with texts that give my life meaning. And I watch. I see that these activities are not far from me. And my feet get stuck in the carpet. I don't move even as I feel the urge...the longing. I am literally standing still and I am getting to know a new longing. I welcome this one too. Not sure yet where it will lodge in my body. Not sure I want us to become too familiar. 

What comes after the longing?