Stop. Pay. Attention. Experience.

At the start of this year 2011 I found myself paying attention to milestones. This month, my husband and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. This year, our oldest son turns 18 and will graduate high school. I will pass the half century mark this summer.

These are watershed moments. And moments deserve rituals. Rituals say,

"Stop. Pay. Attention. Experience.”

“Think about the rituals in your life. They may revolve around your morning routine. The way you greet your children or your spouse at the end of the day. What you do on birthdays. Many of us associate rituals with lifecycle events in our lives-birth, marriage, death. So many of our faith traditions have these rituals because they say,

“Stop. Pay. Attention. Experience.”

If we take watershed moments seriously, if we don’t simply fall into them exhausted and out of breath because the rest of our lives are so crowded, if we not only plan for them but plan to be present in them, we allow them to speak to us in a small voice,

“This is an important moment in your one and only life. Take a deep breath. How do you want to enter this moment? How do you want to be here?”

Too often the watershed moments of our lives are crammed with details, plans and worrying. Surprise parties, people, food, favors. Photo ops, weather reports, speeches. The moment has come and gone and it barely registers in our consciousness. We weren’t there. Not in any meaningful way. We were stressing about how things weren’t going as planned. Or we’re distracted by a detail we think we have control over. We’ll look at the pictures later; someone is taking pictures, right? Wait, where is the photographer?!

5 verbs.

Pause Take the time to anticipate the moment. What is your hope for how it will be? What are you worried about?

Reflect What does this moment mean to you?

Intend Set an intention for how you want to experience the moment.

Act Create a ritual or enact one from your tradition. Let the action create the space that enables you to be fully present.

Allow Let go of all the details. Don’t force this moment to be anything other than what it is. It is the only way to be present.