the “pen” -ultimate challenge

If you are reading this, then, like me, you probably believe that we are a work in progress. We evolve in response to the changes around us and the changes within us. Hopefully our evolution is conscious and intentional. We actively work on the bits and pieces that are the substance of who we are becoming. And more often than not, we get stuck. We get in our own way. We keep repeating old patterns or we find ourselves in the midst of completely new traps. Our mind is so good at deceiving us, at letting us rationalize avoidance of the tough inner work.

I want to share with you a simple idea that keeps hitting me in the face. It is my very own boxing bag that I try to punch out of my way; it gets the better of me every time. Ready?...

We can write our way into a new state of being.

Don’t say it, I know. You are not a writer. Writing doesn’t come naturally to you. You don’t have time for writing. Blah, blah, blah. Been there. Oh—and I am not talking about keeping a journal or a diary. Nope—been there too. There may be value to that for you. But in my experience, journals and diaries became a shrine to what is, and what was—not a pathway to what can be.

We can write our way into a new state of being.

I don’t have all the research at my fingertips about why this works. People I trust advocate writing as an essential element to change. And I know from personal experience that it works. Sometimes I am drawn into writing at a group event or when my own coach challenges me. And sometimes I am so stuck about a project or a goal, that I pick up my pen and tackle my demon to the ground. Do you know why? Because I can waste an awful lot of energy forcing myself to move past invisible obstacles. But when I use writing to explore the stuckness, the waters part of their own accord and the moving forward can feel so much easier.

I am going to share just two ways of writing for change that have been really helpful to me. I re-use them and adapt them ad infinitum to suit my need. There are myriad others and if you have strategies that have worked for you please let me know.

Letter Writing/Dialogue

• I write letters to people in my life living and lost—people I am struggling with and people who know me better than I know myself at times. These letters help me to clarify my feelings, my needs and my message. Sometimes I need a ritual to burn or bury these letters. Sometimes, they turn into real life conversations with people.
• I write to different parts of me—present, past and future. I write to parts of me that feel hard and judgmental. I write to parts of me that are vulnerable. I write to parts of me that have a longer view and can access some wisdom. I ask myself questions. I listen. When I do this I write it out as a dialogue. I become a script writer channeling the voices and energy I don’t often create space for.

Powerful Questions
Asking ourselves big important, open-ended questions is a way of sitting down with and tapping into the wise and reflective parts of ourselves. It is what I do for you when I am coaching. And we can do it for ourselves. Here are some examples of powerful questions:

• What is next?
• What am I learning about...?
• What reassurance do I need?
• How am I holding myself back?
• What is the support I could be asking for?
• If I could let this go, what would I grab hold of instead?
• What is getting my attention?

No one has to see your writing!! No one has to know you are writing. And, writing is a power tool. For your own leadership, for your own life. Try it.

Some resources you might be interested in:
The Life Organizer: A Woman’s Guide to a Mindful Year by Jennifer Louden
The Monster manual and Coloring Book by Havi Brooks