Hard Truths

In the past month I have encountered a school, a healthcare company and a large non-profit all experiencing communication breakdown. By which I mean, people at all levels of the organization are not having direct conversations with each other. And when they are, they are being less than honest. They are talking about each other, not to each other.

“Can you believe s/he...”
“I am so frustrated with...”
“How could s/he have been promoted?”

They are seeking out managers and supervisors.

“You really need to do something about...”
“S/he is ruining the morale in...”

There are many reasons why this could be happening. Let me mention two. Your people might be thinking...

• If I take my issue up with the person directly, I might have to change too. I might have to be part of the solution.
• If I speak directly, I might face an angry response or even retaliation. We would find ourselves in conflict and things would get worse not better.

  
  Can you hear the sense of defeat and the fear underlying these? There is also powerlessness and a lack of trust.

  If you are a leader in your organization, noticing this same behavior, you probably already know that you can’t mandate it out of existence. Simply telling everyone to stop back channel conversations and work things out with each other directly is pretty useless. What you really need to do is tackle the underlying obstacles.

  1. It goes without saying that the first place to look is in the mirror. What are you modeling? What are you afraid of? What do you need to learn how to do? Having trouble being honest with yourself? Get a coach!

  2. You may need to help your people develop better communication and conflict resolution skills? First name the problem to your people. Come right out and say what you are seeing and why you feel it is tearing at the fabric of your organization. Then bring in some outside expertise to jump-start the process and continue to provide group opportunities to practice. Here are some resources to explore:

  Fierceinc.: Susan Scott’s organization gives your people a no nonsense approach to developing the skills that build powerful organizations.

  The Center for Non Violent Communication: A deeply respectful approach to communication. You can request a certified trainer to come to your organization.

  

  3. Read Five Dysfunctions of a Team together. Use the self-assessment in the back of the book. Work through each level of the model beginning with trust.

  There is no quick fix on this issue and there is no way around—only through. There will be discomfort and there will be growth. And when there is growth, there is a healthy organization.