Are You and Money on the Rocks? Tips for Making up with Money [relationship]

This summer our family took a long overseas trip—it was wonderful, and it was hard not to notice how much money we were spending. This month, I am opening up a local office outside my home and suddenly the expenses are piling up—rent, new phone, liability insurance, printing postcards to let everyone know…and the list goes on. Not surprisingly money has become more of a topic of conversation at home and it is not always a warm and fuzzy one.

As the money magnet expert, Morgana Rae will tell you, money can feel dangerous; it can break up families. When we start to unpack our beliefs about money, we discover that we may be in a long-term unhealthy relationship with none other than our own personal version of a jerk. Of course we are not cultivating a healthy relationship with money—s/he is so unattractive!


MONEY DYNAMICS
I recently had the opportunity to hear Morgana coaching a woman on her own struggles with money. In a short and abbreviated version of her Financial Alchemy™ process, Morgana helped her client to see that:

her version of money was smarmy and distasteful

she really needed to “break up” with her old image of money

she could go to central casting and find her ideal version of who she wants money to be

her new image of money is always a force for good in her life

Morgana guided her client to ask ‘Money’ what he needs from her to improve their relationship. I asked Morgana for a sample session for myself so that I could tell you about the process, first hand. And yes, I do have some real issues right now. Morgana told me that she and ‘money’ (her own romantic, Ivy League guy with a book in his hand and a rose for her!) agreed that they were not doing free sessions any more.

Something about the clarity of that response really got me thinking. I admit to being skeptical about the idea of personifying Money. But I had also heard Morgana say that the dynamics of our relationship with money often have parallels in our other relationships. So I started to look at how I am feeling about money now and ask myself:

Where else am I focused on scarcity and what is the impact of that?
Where else am I making choices that I am not enjoying?

And then I realized I know something about how to strengthen relationships. I opened up my copy of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and reminded my self of this:

4 Tips from John Gottman: Apply these to your honey AND your money
(in my words, not his):

Get to know your partner
Show appreciation
Turn toward your partner—indifference kills
Be open to influence from your partner

Now if the partner in question is money, what should you be doing right now?

Well, I am signing off now. I have some important relationship building to do.