Heal By Remembering Those Who Have Passed [life]

Now that last year has drawn to a close, we’ll most likely begin to see retrospectives and remembrances of all the famous people who died. Each year at this time, the national preoccupation with loss brings me face to face with my own longing for those no longer present: A dear friend, an aunt, a colleague. What to do with the grief , the memories and pieces of ourselves that lie dormant? Over the years different practices have helped me and I am grateful to friends and family who have taught me by their own example.

Capture the Memories of Passed Loved OnesGather together with friends and family and retell the stories that connect you to those no longer with us. Don’t worry if not all the stories are flattering, it’s the sheer life in them that preserves. Pull out the photo albums, re-read the old letters. What was the joke he always got wrong? What was the story she loved to tell every year? Let the tears flow and the laughter heal.

Write Letters to Those Who Have Passed
Sometimes, when the feelings run too deep and the wound is too raw for collective reminiscing, I find letter writing to be an intimate and cathartic activity. Sometimes I write to the friend I lost. I want him to know what is happening in my life. I want to tell him what has happened in our world that I know would give him joy. Sometimes I write to my children so that they may learn about their special relative. I can share her impact in my life and convey to my children what would surely have been her wish for them. The letters don’t need an address. The writing is the tribute.

Pay it Forward
More than anything, I choose to recognize and honor the beliefs and values of those I have lost. I know no greater tribute than to live a life in which I share the gifts I have received. Passed loved ones have led me to create warm and welcoming celebrations, find my way to make the world a better place, and stay connected to family.

As my losses grow, so do the gifts I feel compelled to share.

If you’re feeling your own loss at this time of year, cherish it as a gift that will lead you to reconnect with what you hold dear.