Why Am I Crying? [Life]

When my husband and I were still dating (for seven years, mind you) I cried any time we went to a movie in which a man made a commitment to a woman he loved. My husband always cries in movies about fathers and sons. All it takes is a son’s longing to connect to his dad or vice versa and the tears flow. Recently, I had a week in which three different clients cried in the context of our coaching session. In each case, the tears came when I (or the client’s partner) said something that desperately needed to be heard:

“You need to give yourself time to mourn the life dream you let wither.”

“The memory of your dad, is a memory of acceptance, he accepted you and that memory can bring you to your own self-acceptance.”

“I want to always remember how much I love you.”

In all cases, the tears represent a kind of release, when a longing we have is suddenly tapped into. A truer, deeper part of ourselves has been touched and even if we can’t speak about it, our tears are the pathway there. They are a signal for us to pay attention.


The power is magnified by the fact that someone else’s words were able to reach us. Even for those of us blessed with close family and friends, it is always a surprise when another human being manages to dip into the deep well of our being, and create a splash. And once they do, we have a unique opportunity to swim around in those deep waters we may rarely visit- and if we let them, we have a partner who can join us.

Tips for following the path of your tears

Don’t make a joke of it and move quickly on to something else.

Don’t judge yourself for being weak or sentimental.

Do get curious about what is there. Set aside time to write in your journal, talk more with your partner or friend, or just sit with a pencil and paper and write a letter to yourself.

When and why do you and / or your partner cry?