She sits across from me in her elegant clothes. He nails are carefully manicured but not ostentatious. She is clearly having a good hair day. She manages to look self assured and alert and yet totally relaxed. Her features are incredibly expressive as she talks. She’s emotional and responsive to her environment and yet I feel like her focus is exclusively on me. She is my intuition. She has granted me an unusual opportunity to sit across from her and really see her. She prefers to be in the background. (And I always thought it was because she felt too frumpy and unfashionable to appear in public. Ha! Goes to show what I know…)
We have both ordered the salad nicoise with dressing on the side. She is pleased that I listened to her. Although she is drinking sparkling water and I have a glass of wine in front of me. She scowls at it as she says, “You know, I know you hear me most of the time. I won’t buy the excuse that you’re hearing is fading in your old age.”
I think about whether or not to respond. I decide discretion is the better part of valor and wait for more. I know it is coming.
“I have noticed that sometimes you confuse me with Impulse. Really, Pearl. Have you seen her? She colors her hair you know. Just to stand out, I imagine. And no wonder she is so clumsy. She moves so fast you’d think they were having a sale on chocolates or something.”
I remain quiet. But I see what she is saying. I probably have confused them.
“I suppose you would like to know the real reason, I have chosen to keep this date with you tonight.” The real reason?
I know what she is going to say. And in that moment she looks at me and smiles. She is the reason I know what she is going to say. This is SO bizarre!
“It would be too predictable for me to say that you don’t trust me. And patently false. Because I know you do trust me. And I love that about you. We really do have a special bond. We’re among the lucky few, did you know? No, the reason I am here is that you seem to be under the mistaken impression that I only speak to you in some situations and that I am totally unavailable at other times.”
Well she has me there. That is what I think.
“Frankly I am a little hurt. What do you think I am off getting my nails done or something? ” My eyes do drift to her beautiful hands but I say nothing.
“Here is the thing. I am always with you. And embarrassing as it is to admit, I am always talking. Sometimes I do have to whisper. One must protect one’s larynx. And while we are on that subject, you don’t drink enough tea, my dear. Too much coffee and wine.”
I think I am beginning to understand why I don’t always listen to her.
“Anyway, the main point is this. Are you listening? You need to slow down. Slow your breathing. Slow your movements. Slow your mouth for heaven’s sake. It is the ONLY way to hear me. Have I ever steered you wrong? Okay well there was that one time but really let’s let bygones be bygones shall we?”
I am suddenly aware of the fact that half my plate is gone and my Intuition has barely taken a bite of hers. I put my hands in my lap and look contrite.
As we sit in comfortable silence now, I try to take her in. Not just her visual presence. There is a certain pleasant hum about her. A barely perceptible tone that resonates right in my chest. She calmly sips her sparkling water. Soon she will be gone. And I make my resolutions. I don’t need to say it out loud. She knows.
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