Do You Take Time to Stop & Reflect? [Leadership]

“I always feel like I have to be responsive to everyone else’s agenda. If I could only stop before each meeting and ask, ‘what is my agenda? What do I want to accomplish in this meeting?’ I could feel like we have a level playing field.”

“Sometimes I get so upset that things are not going the way I want them to, I start to internalize the failure. If I could only stop and reflect I would realize that there is probably a conversation I need to have with someone that could improve the situation.”

“Things can get tense in my operation. We move at breakneck speed and things don't always happen as I would like them to. Next thing I know I am snapping at my people. If I could only stop and mentally separate myself from the action I know I would see what was needed and I could take calmer steps to get us there.”

This is just a small sampling of what I heard from my clients this month. Everyone seems to be struggling with how to stop themselves in the midst of competing demands. On the one hand we have to learn to bypass our own inner critics. You know the ones:

“If you stop, people will think you are weak and it will really backfire”

“Stop? Who has time to stop? You are behind as it is. Keep going!”

“You are too undisciplined; you will never be able to develop this habit.”

And to be generous with ourselves, we are also battling the culture around us. Do you know of a place that is not rushing, behind schedule, overworked and overwhelmed? The stakes are too high, the vision too grand, the reputation too important to preserve…

I could tell you what my clients are doing to tackle the issue but their answers are not yours. Here is a great exercise from a company called Entrevis that might lead you to your own answers. Ask yourself:

What is the belief I have that makes it hard for me to stop?
What are all of my behaviors that follow from this belief?
What is the result of these behaviors?

Now work backwards…

What are the results you want to have?
What behaviors would produce those results?
What set of beliefs would compel you to change your behavior?

To really create commitment to your new belief, try your own version of this ritual: write the old belief on a piece of paper and release it to the wind. Now write down the new belief. Plant it alongside a seedling in a flower pot or your garden. As it grows, let it serve as a reminder for the new belief drive your new behaviors so you achieve the results you long for.