What do you think of me? [Life]

When I was growing up, I was never satisfied being me. I wanted to be able to “spike” on the volley ball court like Kaori. I wanted to draw portraits like Patty. I wanted to do funky embroidery like Yako and have Kimie’s impeccable handwriting. Actually handwriting was a “thing” for me. I spent hours mimicking the handwriting of my various classmates. I was good. And somehow, I believed as a teenager that if I could write like them, I would magically adopt the characteristics of their personalities (and bodies) that I coveted.


Over the years, my dissatisfaction with myself turned me into quite a chameleon. And ironically, my chameleon qualities became one of my prized attributes. I could fit into any situation, adopting the mannerisms, speech patterns and cultural habits of any group I joined.

I couldn’t honor who I was becoming
It has been over 35 years since that time and various people have said things to me along the lines of “oh I wish I could be like you, you are so…[and you can fill in the blank]“. Actually I would need you to because I never heard what they were saying. What? Me? You see, I never claimed me-who I was or who I was becoming. I was too busy trying to be like everyone else.

Does this sound familiar in any way? (Please tell me I am not alone here!) Is what you do see about yourself blinding you to what you have not yet discovered? Where are you shortchanging yourself? Where are you not noticing your magnificent impact in the world? What if you could embrace all of you and have that feel good?

Claim your own gifts
I believe we are infinitely complex and there is no end to the ways in which we can surprise ourselves. I still can’t spike on the volley ball court or draw very well. And my handwriting, well, it shows the signs of trying on too many styles. I haven’t stopped noticing my deficiencies. But I am claiming them for my own. They are my unique deficiencies that have made me who I am today. And as for my strengths, well, not only am I willing to claim those, but I can even hear them when they come from those around me. Here is my challenge to you…go out and ask five people you respect what qualities they value in you. And listen! Really listen.