Opening Doors to our most Precious Relationship [relationship]

It is so easy to fall into the habit of believing that our family and work relationships would improve if only the other person would change. Just ask my children, they know exactly how I want them to change! When we think that way, we shut the door on new possibilities. In order to open that door, we first have to get into right relationship with ourselves. So I want to tell you about two resources that can help you do that. Think of them as door openers. And yes, I am working on them too!


1. Guided Visualization
Imagine taking a journey to an unknown place. As you approach the door you know you are about to meet your best possible self 20 years from now. You discover that she is happy and peaceful. What would you want to ask her? What if she could tell you how to get from where you are today to where she is? How to overcome all those obstacles you see in your way now… How to work through your conflict with your kids and your partner? Well actually you can, through guided imagery. It is powerful to discover the wisdom your true unconscious self really holds for you. Ricki Rush offers several different guided visualizations which are available on CD. You don’t have to be good at meditation or quieting your mind—just willing to follow her direction. You don’t even have to be visual. Whatever comes up for you as you move through the visualization will be exactly what you need.

2. Three “Doorways” to Reconnect to Self
Sandy Davis a former management consultant and currently a coach who lives a well balanced life in Maine coined the term “zillience”—it is delicious to say isn’t it? He defines it as an “expanded capacity to thrive no matter what comes your way”—we could all use a little of that. So his latest newsletter caught my eye when he described three different doorways to reconnect with yourself.

1. The front door is a daily centering practice. This could be meditation or prayer or anything that creates inner stillness for you.

2. The side door is regular aerobic and physical exercise (we get that one, right?)

3. The back door is a daily creative practice. As opposed to the front door where you want to stop doing, the back door really is all about rolling up your sleeves and doing—only it should be something you don’t have to do. Singing, dancing, painting, cooking (don’t tell my family I included cooking!)

So take it easy on your significant other for awhile, and nourish the relationship with your most precious ally—yourself!